How to bounce back after “Quitter’s Day” and stay focused on your goals
If my best friend or someone I cared about deeply came to me and said, “I made some important New Year’s resolutions, but it’s only the second Friday in January, and I’ve already quit or failed. I’m off to a terrible start for the new year, and I’m feeling down on myself,” there are a few things I would do.
First, I’d ask them what would help them to feel better right now, in this moment?
Maybe we could take a walk in nature, or even just get outside for a few moments. Maybe it would feel good to enjoy something fun like a movie or a trip to the spa. I would try to help them to feel better in general.
Second, I would give them the opportunity to share exactly how they were feeling.
I would listen to them without judgment and ask them what inspired them to make the resolutions they did. Talking about it could help reignite the passion and excitement they started off with, or it might provide clarity as to what really matters to them in the present. (Maybe their initial inspiration pointed to something slightly different than what their resolution was.) I would listen to them and try to help them connect to what was driving their resolutions.
Finally, I would offer some words of kindness and reassurance.
I would say, “You are not a quitter, you’re not a failure, you’re a human being. We all have our own pace with which we go towards the things that matter to us. Don’t be so hard on yourself. The year has just started, and you’re not in a race against anybody. Just put one foot in front of the other and do your best. If you need some help, we can make a plan together”
These are the three things I would offer to a friend who was feeling down on themselves after not getting off to the best start with their resolutions. What would you say or do for a loved one in the same situation?
You can say and do the same things for yourself.
If you’re feeling down on yourself for how your resolutions are going, think about how you would treat a friend or a loved one who was feeling the same way. Whatever you would say and do for them, you can say and do for yourself. You’re welcome to follow the steps outlined above: do something to help yourself feel better in the moment, take time to listen to yourself and connect with your intentions, and offer yourself kindness and reassurance.
I believe in you!
