Recently, one of my mentors, Saqib Rasool, shared with me that he was letting go of some lifelong ambitions that had been quietly shaping his life. He said, “On the surface, these ambitions seemed reasonable. But repeatedly, they had been taking me in the wrong direction. By giving these up, I’ve discovered a clarity I didn’t know I was missing. No more confusion.”

This gave me pause and inspired me to reflect on my own long-held ambitions. Were they serving me, confusing me, or hurting me? 

I’m happy to share that I, too, have discovered a few ambitions I’m ready to retire in 2025.

What I’m giving up in 2025

“I must be someone significant.”

Since I was 10 years old, this driving goal has influenced much of my life: I must make something significant of myself. I believe it started as a means of escapism from the small, insignificant ways I felt as a child. 

It drove me to be a straight-A student, always at the top of my class. 

I abandoned my passions and ignored my intuition, opting instead to climb the corporate ladder, earn a salary the world deemed a “success,” and eventually burn out.

I often prioritized my career over quality time with loved ones and had poor work boundaries, which affected my relationships.

Now, I see how this ambition was steeped in the need for external validation to find worthiness. But no career title, bank account balance, or accolade can bring long-term fulfillment.

Now, I’m committed to doing what I’m passionate about, bringing balance to my work life so I stay healthy in body and mind, and making deep, meaningful connections in my relationships a priority.

“I need to awaken people.”

When I was 12, a pastor at our church pointed me out in the crowd and announced a prophecy: “You, young girl, will help many people someday.” I saw it as an ordained calling and made it my mission to rescue others from the perceptions that were blinding them.

This ambition quickly morphed into codependency as the lines blurred between caring for others and caretaking. I took on the burden of responsibility for creating positive outcomes for my family, friends, and even my meditation students. I’d, at times, be offended if they didn’t appreciate or use my advice. 

But I’ve learned that people improve their lives when they’re ready and capable. I’m freeing myself from the need to be the one who inspires that change. 

Who am I to try and improve others' perspectives or outcomes when I have so many things to improve in my own life? In fact, I have no control over anyone but myself. 

I’m happy to let this go and instead focus on sharing the work I love—without attachment to the results it creates (or doesn’t create) in others’ lives.

“I must be a “good” mom and wife.”

For a long time, I’ve held black-and-white thinking about what it means to be a “good” wife or mom. Secretly, that meant being perfect, without mistake or weakness. 

My identity as a “good” wife, mom, and person felt at stake with every mistake or disappointment.

This hidden belief resided beneath the surface, manifesting in feelings of guilt or shame. But this toxic thinking masquerading as perfectionism only lowers self-esteem. It’s also unfair—burdening a partner or child with the subconscious task of validating my worthiness.

In reality, it prevents me from honoring my truest, most authentic self and embracing all parts of me. How I treat myself sets the precedent for how others will treat me.

Now, I commit to fully accepting myself and honoring all parts of me, letting my authentic self shine. In doing so, I both free myself and model for my son what it means to love and respect yourself.

Moving forward

No more chasing significance. No more trying to awaken others. No more striving to be the perfect wife or mom.

I know these old driving forces will probably creep back in from time to time. When they do, I’m prepared to let them go again and again, as many times as I need to.

But I’m already liking the freedom that letting go of them creates. Freedom to be me, just as I am. And that person is already enough.

Does this resonate with you? I’d love to hear if it inspires anything within you, too.