Navigating parental guilt: How to be kind to yourself when you feel like you’ve messed up
Every parent feels guilt at some point, whether it’s over small slip-ups, lost patience, or the constant feeling of not doing enough.
The parents at Balance know these feelings all too well and have learned a few things about being kind to themselves along the way. Here’s what they shared:
Embrace imperfection with the 80/20 rule
“I don’t need to be the perfect parent 100% of the time. That 20% where I’m too busy, yelling, or making buttered pasta for the fourth time in a row? It’s okay.” — Yana Yang, Senior Data Analytics Manager
Remember: Kids need happy parents, not perfect ones
“It can be easy to stress about every decision, and it often feels like there's no right answer, so I try to remind myself the most important thing is that my kiddo has a caring and engaged parent, not a perfect one.” — Olivia Johnson, Director of People
Trust that every hard phase will pass
“At one point, I was so sleep-deprived I thought I’d never make it through. Because when things are really difficult, it's hard to remember that it's all temporary. Eventually, that phase ended. The hard stages really don’t last forever.” — Matt Bruun, Sound Designer
Cherish the good moments, too
“Don’t forget to soak up the good things, too—that helps to put things in perspective. They won't be up all night forever, but they also won't be cute little potatoes sleeping on you forever.” — Heather Speaker, Customer Support Manager
Let kids be bored—it’s good for them
“I used to feel guilty if I wasn’t engaging with my kids constantly. But watching them navigate their boredom and get creative? It’s been great for everyone.” — Yana Yang, Senior Data Analytics Manager
Focus on raising loved and respected kids
“We can’t always be perfect. What matters most is that our kids grow up knowing they’re loved and respected, and the rest works itself out. Kids need happy, sane parents, too. Sometimes, the best thing we can do for them is make sure we’re okay. (Think of it like putting on your oxygen mask first.)” — Josh Svatek, Engineering Manager, Balance
The takeaway? Self-compassion for parents is key
Parental guilt is natural, but it’s essential to meet it with self-compassion. The Balance team believes that every parent deserves kindness, just as much as their kids do. And with the Balance app, you can explore mindfulness and meditation exercises to help manage feelings of guilt, stress, overwhelm, and everything in between.
Download Balance today to start building compassion for yourself as you navigate the journey of parenting—and remember, you’re doing better than you think.
