Learn how to love yourself in a relationship

An essential aspect of any healthy relationship isn’t how long you’ve been together or how often you go on date nights. 

It’s how much you love yourself, first and foremost. 

That’s something you might not hear every day. 

But hear us out: Think of the oxygen mask theory. Flight attendants always instruct you to put on your own oxygen mask first—or you’ll risk not being able to help anyone at all. The same applies to relationships of all kinds. When you love yourself, you’re better equipped to love others and build strong, fulfilling relationships.

So if you’re curious to learn more about what self-love looks like in a relationship, its benefits, and how the Balance app can help, keep reading. 

Why does self-love matter in a relationship?

Self-love plays a crucial role in healthy relationship dynamics in four distinct ways: 

• Enhanced emotional regulation: When you love yourself, you are better equipped to regulate your emotions in a healthy way because self-love helps you cultivate greater patience, compassion, and forgiveness towards yourself and others. By recognizing your own needs and desires, you can communicate them effectively to your partner without becoming overwhelmed by negative emotions such as anger or frustration. 
• Improved self-esteem: Self-love also has a positive impact on your self-esteem, which is critical for maintaining a healthy relationship. When you prioritize your own needs and desires, you’ll feel more confident and secure in yourself, which translates into greater confidence in your relationships. This increased sense of self-worth allows you to approach your relationships from a place of strength rather than insecurity.
• Relationship satisfaction: Research has shown that individuals with higher levels of self-love and self-esteem report greater relationship satisfaction. By being true to yourself and prioritizing your own well-being, you are better able to show up authentically in your relationships and build deeper connections with your partners.
• Personal satisfaction: When you love yourself, you are less likely to rely on your partner for validation and approval. This means you can enjoy your relationship without feeling like you need your partner to complete you.

As you can see, self-love allows you to approach your relationships from a place of strength and authenticity. By prioritizing your own well-being and maintaining self-love in a relationship, you’re ultimately creating a more fulfilling and rewarding partnership with your loved ones. (And no, it doesn’t mean you’re being selfish.)

Top 3 benefits of self-love in a relationship

There are many benefits to cultivating self-love and self-acceptance in a relationship, but here are a few:

1. Healthier communication: Self-love allows you to be more authentic and true to yourself, which can lead to more open and honest communication with your partner. By recognizing and accepting your own needs and desires, you can communicate them effectively to your partner without feeling guilty or ashamed. This creates a more trusting and understanding relationship dynamic, where both partners feel heard and respected.
2. Healthy conflict: By regulating your emotions and practicing self-compassion, you are less likely to become overwhelmed by negative emotions such as anger or frustration. This allows you to respond to your partner in a more rational and productive manner, which can lead to more positive outcomes in conflict resolution.
3. Fulfilling relationships: Finally, cultivating self-love and self-acceptance leads to more fulfilling relationships. When you love yourself, you are less likely to rely on your partner for validation and approval. And by prioritizing your own well-being and setting healthy boundaries, you create a more balanced and fulfilling partnership where both partners feel valued and respected.

How do you love yourself in a relationship

You’re probably thinking: This sounds great, but how do I start showing up for myself on a daily basis? Here are some easy, practical self-love exercises to help you start incorporating the practice into your relationship and daily routine: 

Practice self-acceptance

Accept yourself for who you are, including your strengths and weaknesses. Remember that nobody is perfect, and it's okay to make mistakes. You can do this through a daily positive affirmation practice. 

Set healthy boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is an essential aspect of self-love. Make sure you regularly communicate your needs and boundaries to your partner and prioritize your own well-being.

Practice self-care

Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally by prioritizing activities that make you feel good, such as taking a hot shower or going for a walk. By setting aside dedicated time for self-care, you signal to yourself that you are worthy of care and attention, which can help promote greater self-love and self-respect.

Start a gratitude practice

Write down things you are grateful for every day, including things about yourself. This can help you better recognize the value of your contributions to your relationships.

Use the Balance App to practice self-love meditations

Using a guided meditation app like the Balance app for self-love meditations is the perfect addition to your daily self-love routine. Balance makes learning and experimenting with different meditation exercises easy since it includes a variety of lessons, audio guidance, breathing exercises, and more, all tailored to you and your exact needs. 

As one specific example of a tool Balance offers, you can try the guided Loving-Kindness meditation. If you feel uncomfortable expressing love toward yourself and others, this meditation is for you. You’ll first choose who you’d like to offer Loving-Kindness to: yourself, a friend, or a family member. Then you’ll repeat some phrases to give yourself—or them—some compassion and acceptance.  

You can also find a highly popular Gratitude meditation in Balance to help you reflect on specific things you love and appreciate about yourself.

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Self-love success stories from Balance users

The self-love meditations in the Balance app are grounded in research-backed meditation techniques, and they produce real benefits. Check out a couple of success stories from individuals who have used the Balance app to help cultivate more self-love:

“I love this app! It allows you the opportunity to do some short meditation practices and builds upon the previous session’s skills. It has helped me tremendously in my journey of self love = self care!”

“It really guides you through every step gently and shows you how to practice essential skills for self-love and self-care!”

Start your journey with self-love meditations today

Self-love is essential for maintaining healthy and fulfilling relationships. And if you’re ready to experience the benefits of a more balanced and satisfying partnership for yourself, download the Balance app on iOS or Android. It includes a growing library of research-backed self-love meditations that can help you take the first step toward loving yourself more, so you can love your partner more, too.