Why do we feel stressed around the holidays?

The holidays are supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year,” but let’s be real—they can also be incredibly stressful. Between spending too much, trying to meet high expectations, juggling a packed schedule, and dealing with tricky family dynamics or feelings of loneliness, it’s no wonder so many of us feel overwhelmed. 

As a meditation teacher, I’ve found that while holiday stress is common, it doesn’t have to take over. There are ways to slow down, let go of the pressure, and actually enjoy this time of year!

Why the holidays feel so hard

First, there’s the money. The pressure to buy the “perfect” gifts, host fancy gatherings, or travel to see family. That’s a heck of a lotta pressure on a person. Also, it’s easy to get swept into the idea that we have to spend a lot in order to show people we care—and that’s a whole lotta pressure on a bank account. 

Then, there’s the constant busyness. Holiday parties, family gatherings, work deadlines, on top of everything else. It can feel like there’s never enough time. Undoubtedly our routines get thrown out the window, and some of our sanity right along with it.

And let’s not forget this can be an emotional time of year. For some, being around family can bring up old tension or unresolved issues. For others, missing loved ones who’ve passed or live far away, or feeling lonely can be especially hard during a season that’s all about connection. Even for those who love socializing, the sheer number of events can still feel overwhelming.

What I do to stay grounded

I’ve had my fair share of holiday stress, but over time, I’ve started finding ways to keep it from taking over. Here’s what’s working for me:

1. Keep up with my practices
   I prioritize meditation. Practicing regularly, even for short time increments, helps me stay calm and centered. I also make time for movement—whether it’s yoga, walking, or just dancing around with my son. It helps me clear my head and shake off any stress.
   
   
2. Don’t overcommit
   I’ve learned to check in with my body’s needs and say no when I need to. If I feel overwhelmed, I remind myself that it’s okay to change my mind or skip an event altogether. I’ve hosted holiday events where people have canceled last minute, and while it was a little disappointing, I didn’t take it personally. Now, I extend that same kindness to myself when I need it. Showing up to fewer things but being fully present is so much better than running on empty.
   
   
3. Simplify gift-giving
   I’ve let go of the need to give everyone a big, flashy gift. Usually, the best gifts are simple but thoughtful, like a handmade letter or an experience we can share after the holidays—like going out for coffee or a hike to connect in a deeper way. Many people care more about quality time or a heartfelt acknowledgment than material things anyway. To make gift-giving less stressful for those I know prefer gifts (like kids), I keep a running list in my notes throughout the year of little things I’ve heard or seen them demonstrate they love—it makes shopping so much easier.
   
   

Staying rooted in gratitude

The holidays can be chaotic, but I try to remind myself that consumerism and busyness aren’t the point. What they’re really about is connection, love, and gratitude. So I take just a few moments each day to appreciate the people and things around me, to help me stay grounded. And if I feel sad about missing a loved one, I try to see that as an expression of love. That sadness is a reminder of how much they mean to me, and so I aim to let the wonderful aspects of their spirit live in my heart and through my actions.

Let’s normalize imperfect holidays because what makes them meaningful is not doing and squeezing it all in but being in a healthy state of mind, body, and heart. By slowing down, saying no when needed, and focusing on what really matters, we can all enjoy this season so much more.