A letter from Coach Ofosu to those alone on Valentine’s Day
What’s good, my friend?
As I write you this letter, I’m sitting on my couch, alone in my house. I’ve just finished a nice meal I prepared for myself, and every so often, my eyes turn toward the bare limbs of the oak tree outside my window dancing in the breeze, beautifully contrasted against an overcast sky. I’m cozy, I’m by myself, and I love it.
Rethinking what it means to be alone
There was once a time when deliberately enjoying time to myself, enjoying my own company, was something I felt guilty or ashamed of. After all, we live in a society that places romantic couples and friend groups at a high social value. And being alone—much less enjoying being alone—can sometimes be looked upon with suspicion or even sympathy, as if there was something flawed about spending time with ourselves.
As Valentine's Day approaches, social media, TV, advertising, and supermarkets bombard us with messages of love. I’m writing this to suggest that you interpret these messages of love as an opportunity to pour that love into yourself and to enjoy your own company.
It might be difficult to think of taking time to spend with yourself or to figure out what you might do with some alone time. Journaling can help you get some clarity around this. A few prompts that might be helpful are:
“My perfect day would look like…”
“The most interesting thing about me is…”
“I feel joy when I’m doing…”
Feel free to create your own prompts or use the ones above to help you think of ways you might enjoy spending time with yourself and, more importantly, giving yourself some love and care.
Be your own Valentine
No matter what type of relationship we have with others, the most important relationship we ever have is the one with ourselves. Whether it’s going for a long walk, a drive through nature, taking a personal mindfulness retreat, or a weekend staycation at home, I encourage you to take some time to be your own Valentine.
Wishing you well today and always, my friend,
Ofosu
